addicted to
i'm not here to win
i'm here to leave a legacy
it's the passion that drives you
endorphins
pain
exhaustion
chasing this insane dream
perfection
tagboard ;
guestbook
i don't get how people can wake up every morning and go about routine things as if it's normal. how can it be normal. it is not normal esp when you don't know what you're doing it for. as much as i am trying to convince myself that
a) i am not a psycho who belongs in IMH because i'm way too prone to depression
b) there IS a higher purpose
c) i am not a failure and
d) i will one day be a happy person
this shit is so not working... so much for happiness immune system. mine's way screwed up i think. prob got some sort of cancer that's eaten up all my happy cells.
if i don't snap out of this i am digging my own grave. but wth i don't know how to. what if this is how it's supposed to be. we're all supposedly living our pre-destined lives. what if this is mine- the one where i'm never happy with myself, always one step too slow, never to succeed in anything i set out to do.
sometimes i think i'm bordering way too close on the line of obsessive compulsive. or maybe i'm conjuring it all up so that i finally have an excuse to give myself for all my shortcomings. cos if i've got a screw loose it's excusable to fail.
like argh. i am really. very. very. tired. of this :(
miss the family :"( sentosa reminded me of all the happy happy carefree innocent childhood days.